Reflections of the soul

The energy in the club felt different tonight. A heady anticipation sizzled down her spine and began to grow somewhere deep in her core. Tonight they were leaving 2018 behind. So many things had changed in the last year, not the least of which was her.

Sean, her Master and husband, sat at his familiar seat at the corner of the bar. His smile was ultra high wattage. He felt it too.

She’d come a long way from reading naughty stories in the privacy of her own room. Now, she was married to a kink club owner and about to scene in front of a club full of people, strange people, but wonderful – ‘give you the shirt off their back’ people.

“Are you ready for this?” Sean asked.

“I need to change my skirt. This one is scratching me,” she lied. “I’ll meet you on the stage in a minute.”

“Be quick. I’m taking you flying tonight.” His eyes sparkled and she knew he had the scene well planned.

A little over a year ago, when she’d first come to the club, she’d only play in a privacy room. She had been so shy, she even had Sean cover the window on the door. It broke all the rules, but as the owner he could do as he pleased. As the months had gone by, she’d slowly become more comfortable. Just recently, she’d agreed to take part in occasional demonstrations, though she’d always insisted on being clothed.

Sean had taken it in stride. He was supportive and respectful of her hard limits. Because of it, she wanted to give him the world. She slipped the key into the lock and walked into their office.

She remembered the first day she’d entered his private domain. She’d fallen in love with the decor. Running her fingers over the teak desk top, memories and emotion flooded in… The feeling of power when she’d negotiated a marketing partnership with a sex toy manufacturer. The memory of Sean tying her spread eagle along the top and torturing her until she’d come more times than she’d thought possible.

She continued into the dressing room and saw a reflection herself in the mirror. Her confidence faltered. She was still pudgier and more pale than she wanted to be. She didn’t have a drop-dead body to equal her husband. Chances were good, she never would. She decided to forego her surprise for Sean. She just couldn’t imagine standing on the stage without a stitch of clothes. Upset with herself, she started to walk out. As she passed the shower, another memory came to mind.

The first time she’d seen Sean in ‘all his glory’ had been in that beautiful double shower. The sight of him was ingrained in her mind for all time. She still remembered how the water glistened along his broad shoulders and how his cock had gone from placid to thick and standing tall as his eyes gazed upon her body.

Though she had no idea why, he certainly did seem to be aroused by her. He didn’t notice all the flaws that jumped off the mirror and danced in front of her eyes. With her back toward the ego busting mirror, she loosened the strings of her corset and tossed it onto the bench where Sean always pulled on his boots. Next, she removed her skirt. Her hands were shaking and her heart was pounding out of her chest.

She put on her robe and cinched the belt. Her legs felt like rubber as she walked out of the office and entered the arboretum. From the moment she entered the garden, she only had eyes for Sean. He stood in the center of the stage with the bright lights shining down on him. As their eyes locked, Sean stopped speaking in mid sentence.

A moment later a smile erupted across his face.  Her fears and second guesses evaporated. Yeah, he knew what she was wearing beneath the robe. Or not wearing, as the case may be.

He met her at the stairs and helped her onto the stage. Her heart beat louder than the music and that was saying something. Sean put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her in tight. “You don’t have to do this,” he whispered against her ear.

He was giving her an out, but the look on his face told her a different story. He wanted this.

“I know, but I want to.” It wasn’t really a lie. She did want to please him, she just wished it didn’t involve being in a room full of people with only Sean’s rope to cover her.

He kissed her hard and led her to the center of the stage. “Kneel up,” he ordered.

She assumed the position facing the crowd, but kept her eyes closed. She pretended if she couldn’t see them, then they couldn’t see her. Totally illogical, but it kept her from running back to the office so she went with it.

Unlike the demonstrations they’d done recently, this was an exhibition. There wouldn’t be a question and answer period or the casual feel of a training session. This was to be a full-on scene. Fear tricked down her spine and she began to shake.

Sean drew her arms behind her back and began a box tie. From the first time Sean bound her, she’d fallen in love with rope. Each wrap he made was one more connection to him. As the ropes circled her arms, she remembered she wasn’t on the stage alone. She was with Sean, the love of her life, and he’d keep her safe.

“You make me proud,” Sean leaned in and whispered.

Chloe basked in his praise.

Each time the rope was pulled across the strands the vibrations sent her to a different place, a place filled with desire and need, a place where she belonged to Sean. She was his to do with as he pleased.

Once the chest harness was complete, he tore the robe from her shoulders exposing her breasts. Her nipples were peaked and her pussy began to throbbed. She blocked out everything but Sean. Her entire focus became him. She could hear his elevated breathing, the crackle of his leather pants as he shifted his weight and began to tie rope to her left ankle.

“I can’t wait to show off my beautiful subbie. You surprised me tonight,” he murmured so only she could hear.

When they scened their protocol only allowed her to speak when asked a directed question, so she remained silent.

The tugs on the chest harness and her ankle warned her Sean had tossed the rope through the suspension ring. She held her breath, knowing what was coming next.

“Fly sweet subbie!”

In an instant the ropes tightened to the point of pain and the ground slipped away from her. Her robe slid open baring her to audience. She found it hard to breathe and it had nothing to do with the ropes holding her so tightly.

Sean put his hand on her hip and gave a shove. She began to spin and all hope of keeping her privates, private disappeared. Anxiety began to creep into her warm world of rope.

Crack! Crack, crack, crack! The sound hit before the sting. Son of a bitch! He was using the crop. God, how she hated that thing. While she could revel in the thud of a flogger, the sting of a crop lit her on fire. Pain radiated outward from each thwack and seemed to immerse her clit in liquid heat.

The swats had begun on her feet and slowly made their way, inch by inch up her legs. Out of the blue, the side of her breast was struck. Air rushed from her lungs. By the multitude of tiny bites dotting the tender flesh, she surmised her was using an erogenous flogger.

The throbbing of her pussy beat in sync with the strikes Sean was landing on her sensitive flesh. Crop, flogger. crop, crop, flogger. Slowly, tortuously, Sean neared her clit. The assault on her breasts deepened. The quarter inch wide strips of leather struck her erect nipples. She hated it and loved it and needed it, all at the same time.

Chloe squirmed as much as the ropes would allow, which was damn little. The knowledge that she was completely helpless served to amplify her nearly desperate need. “Please, Master.”

“Oh, I do like to hear you beg. I think I’m going to prolong this a little further,” he taunted her.

A groan escaped before she could stop it. Need was a living breathing entity. Her nipples ached and wetness crept down her leg. Sean ramped up intensity of the swats each time her ass cheeks came into reach.

She knew what was coming and yearned for it. Chloe rocked her hips trying to bring her pussy within his reach.

Sean laughed. “Yeah, I know what you want. But I’m not going to make it easy on you. You’re going to have to use your words. You’re going to admit to all these people that you want me to strike your gorgeous swollen clit with the crop. Show them how my sweet subbie likes it rough.”

Oh, God. people… Embarrassment swept over her like a tidal wave and she damn near came on the spot. She tried to fight it. She didn’t want others to see her like this-so needy she’d beg Sean to swat her pussy. She tried to hang onto cognizant thought, but the steady heat from the crop and flogger buried her in pleasure. Hungry for more. Desperate for relief. Her brain was focused on one thing-need. All encompassing need.

“Please,” she whispered.

“Not good enough. Tell these people what you want, baby,” Sean ordered.

People. Reality surfaced for a second, maybe two, but was quickly replaced by the swamping desire that threatened to consume her if Sean didn’t give her what she needed.

“Please don’t tease me, Master. Please, I’m begging-swat my pussy.”

Chloe was rewarded with a direct pat to her clit. “Oh, God. Harder. Please, Master, harder.”

She heard Sean groan and somehow in the fog swirling through her brain she realized he was in as much need as she was. Power swelled within her. Sean, her handsome, commanding husband needed her just as badly as she did him. Any remaining hesitation floated away.

Sean gave her several swats directly where she needed it most. She screamed as the world fragmented around her. Colors danced and a roaring in her ears threatened to deafen her. Just when she thought she couldn’t take any more the hues and sound faded away.

The first thing she noticed was Sean’s comforting voice washing over her. “You never cease to amaze me, my beautiful angel.”

She opened her eyes and met Sean’s steady gaze.

“There you are. Touching back down on earth?” His voice was rich with male pride.

She nodded. As reality hit her full force, she glanced around them. They had been on stage-with a packed audience. Holy fuck!

Sean’s deep laughter took a touch of the chill from her bones. “We’re alone my angel.”

Muted earth tones surrounded them. She was sitting on his lap on the couch in their office. “Thank God.”

He raised one eye brow and held her gaze. “I think the lady doth protest too much. You might have been nervous, but you were excited up on that stage.”

Heat rushed to her face. It was true.

“None of that.” He ran a finger down her cheek. “Tonight is chalk full of new beginnings. I can’t wait to see what 2019 has in store for us.”

***Sean and Chloe were first introduced in the opening book of the Master’s Touch series – The One and Only. This piece is just a peek at how they’re getting along.

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Happy Dancing all over the house!

It’s time. There were days when I wondered if it would ever happen again. The One and Only is available for sale. After an incredibly long dispute with the original publisher, I own the rights again. I also put the book back to the way I had wanted it in the first place.

I’m done with editors who don’t understand a single thing about the lifestyle telling me how to ‘correct’ my story. I could write a 10k page book on some of the absurd changes I’ve been told to make over the years. My family and friends duck for cover when it’s editing time. I’ll stare my computer and scream random phrases – What do you mean that’s impossible? Have you ever had sex before? Independent body part? Eff you! It’s written in her POV for heaven’s sake. On and on it goes until ‘my editor’ is as frustrated with me as I am with them and then they turn me over to a group that is supposed to look for only the grammatical errors. Of course, you’ll get one or two of them that have to comment on the content and the fun starts all over again. By the time it’s done my head is ready to explode.

This one is all mine. For better or for worse.  amazon.com/author/toricarson

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The cover was done by my soon to be son-in-law. I absolutely LOVE his work. If you’re publishing a book, please consider working with him. Unlike my previous art designers, he actually listens to my ideas. I wanted something elegant, romantic and a touch dark. I wanted the Dom to be the focal point. We discussed the story line and plot of each book. After that, I turned him loose and hoped for the best.

He came up with the series design and matched each cover to the individual stories. Small details, I hadn’t noticed at first, such as the type of plants that run along the top are specific to plot elements. I am very impressed with his work. The covers are amazing and I couldn’t be happier. He’s awesome. If you’re self publishing – give him a shot. You’ll love him.

Check out his website at katz-concepts.com or shoot him an email at ryan@katz-concepts.com

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Wow!!!

I will admit I’m cautious about reading reviews. My ego has taken more than a few hits and I’m a bit gun shy. I try to not take what people say personally, but each book expresses a little bit of myself and it’s hard, very hard, to stay objective. When my editor sent me an email concerning a review, I took my time opening it. Life has been crazier than usual and I didn’t need another ‘hit’ right now. Somewhere along the way, I found the courage to open it and read the review. Man, am I glad I did.

If you have a few moments, please check it out. http://www.thejeepdiva.com/review-one-tori-carson/

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Refreshing Change.

I’m probably being silly, but I normally can’t read my own books once they go to print. One problem I have is by the time I submit the book for the last time, I’ve read it so many times I can almost recite it word for freaking word. Each day, when I sit down to write, I reread and revise what I wrote the day before. Then, when my husband has a free moment, he checks out what I’ve been working on and like the temperamental, control freak that I am, I usually read over his shoulder and try to catch any errors before he does. Once it is completed, we go through it one last time before I submit it.

The editing process is painstaking also. The content editor sends me one or two rounds of suggestions and then three separate line editors go through and make their suggestions. By the time I hit the send button for the last time, I’m done. Really done.

The other problem I have with rereading my own book is, I’m a perfectionist. I second guess my word choice and sentence structure until I lose track of the story line. Even though the book has been gone through so many times, I still find mistakes. Maybe it’s too many cooks in the kitchen causing a few of the errors, but I fully admit I make numerous mistakes all on my own.

Anyway, the bottom line is, I usually can’t do it. I get through maybe a page or two at most and quit. But The One and Only is different. A friend of mine was asking me why I used certain phrases. He was using me like many people use a reading group, tossing ideas around to try to gain deeper meaning from various passages. Because the book was written so long ago, (close to a year) I couldn’t bring it up in my head, word for word. I started rereading it so I could speak intelligently 🙂 and found, to my surprise, that I was enjoying it. I wasn’t freaking out over every little thing and wishing I could change this or that. It’s a refreshing change.

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The One and Only is finally here!

I’ve been waiting for this for a long time. Many of you know I’ve been writing for close to twenty years, but mainly for my own pleasure. I’ve submitted several manuscripts in the past, but none were picked up. After I wrote Bondage Anniversary, my husband went nuts. He was so excited. He was sure this was the one. Turns out he was right.

I submitted the original manuscript to three publishers. While waiting to hear back, I wrote The One and Only. If Bondage Anniversary followed the same path as my other stories, I’d be starting from scratch here soon with a few more bruises on my ego.

Totally Bound was the first to answer. They wanted a few changes but were interested in Bondage Anniversary. I was absolutely ecstatic. I made the changes, crossed my fingers and waited some more. In the mean time, the second publisher came back with the familiar ‘thank you, but no thank you’.Instead of being devastated as every other time in the past, I took it in stride. Even if Totally Bound said no, I was making progress. Getting the opportunity to receive constructive criticism rather than the bland ‘you suck’ letter had my hopes up. During this waiting period, I began on Bondage Celebration. My wonderful editor came back after only a week or two and said, we love it We’ll take six.

After coming up for air, wiping away the tears of joy, and pinching myself to make sure I was really awake–not living in fantasy land, I accepted. The next month or so was a flurry of activity. The paperwork was a bit daunting and the reality of agreeing to write six books had my head spinning. When I learned the time table was one every three months, I almost went into panic mode.

About this time my son submitted his book and his pacing began. I knew where he was coming from and I felt a bit of tension for him. I didn’t want my son to ever feel the hurt and disappointment I felt every time I received the ‘your writing has merit, but not what we are looking for at this time’, letter.

My husband decided we needed to get away. The plans were set, reservations made and bags packed. The morning we were scheduled to leave, I heard back from the third publisher, Ellora’s Cave. They wanted to buy Bondage Anniversary. The letter she sent was the exact opposite of all those rejection letters I’d received in the past. She was bubbly and enthusiastic and I was devastated to have to tell her it was already going to print.

We arrived at the hotel and checked into our suite. It was gorgeous as always and very fitting. He’d booked the same room that I’d used as inspiration for Bondage Anniversary. I went out on the balcony, let my hair down and began to relax. From inside, I heard my phone ping letting me know I had an email. I ignored it for a few hours.Towards dinner time, I booted my laptop to download some pictures and remembered the email. It was Ellora’s Cave, again. 

Her email was sweet and asked that I keep her in mind for any new projects. I immediately thought of The One and Only. I still needed to fix a few things, but it was virtually done. After discussing it with my husband, we changed the focus of the weekend and turned it into a working holiday. We made the changes and submitted it. 

The wait was short this time. She’d made sure I could contact her personally and cut through the red tape. Not only did she buy it, she wanted two more.

In the middle of all this, my son’s story was picked up and they also wanted to turn it into a series. Having waded through the paperwork once already, we were able to wiz through his a little easier, but the emotional high was even better. Now, we both had someone to share our hurdles and milestones with. It’s been an exhilarating experience and I couldn’t be more thankful.

As this new series begins, I have butterflies in my tummy. Sean and Michelle talked to me as a writer and I hope you give it a look. 

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Release Date!

I have the release date for The One and Only. This story is about Sean, the owner of the BDSM club, Cat Tails and his soulmate, Michelle. I’ve written about this one often. It’s set in Hilton Head and the club is a giant warehouse Sean converted into an arboretum. It’s a new story line with all new characters and published through Ellora’s Cave. I am so excited. I can’t wait until April 23rd and I can share it with you.

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Odd, but wonderful weekend

We had such plans and almost none of them came to fruition, but that’s okay. We had a wonderful time anyway. Thursday we were going to the lake for a late afternoon, sunset cruise. Unfortunately, the wind and clouds rolled in and made it impossible. Instead, we took our son out to dinner to celebrate the release of his first book, Night.

Friday morning, we hit the road running and drove south about a hundred miles, to out run the storm. We went both antiquing and junk yarding. Not everyone’s cup of tea, I understand, but we enjoy it. In addition to finding a few trinkets, we laughed and talked and reveled in each other’s company.

On Saturday, the storm hit with a force we hadn’t expected. By mid-morning the washes were running and we knew it wouldn’t be safe to bring our family and friends up here. If they actually made it to our home, I wasn’t sure they’d make it back down the hill safely. The party had to be cancelled. Not a big deal for me, I’m not a party person. Though I wouldn’t admit this to my son, who had planned and organized it for us, I was the tiniest bit relieved to not have to interact with everyone. 

His day wasn’t a whole bust, though. We spent a few hours watching the stats roll in on his book, Night. It debuted at number eleven on the All Romance ebook bestseller list and was spotted at number thirty-three on Amazon’s Gay Fiction list. With the upsurge of excitement, he sat down at the computer and wrote a little over 8000 words on his third book Wonder, which is due to the publisher in a couple of weeks.

I managed to squeeze in a bit of writing too, around all the normal household chores that always seem to be put off until the weekend. His To Own is tearing me up a bit. Brett and Alexa have hit a rough patch. Sean, the owner of the BDSM club, Cat Tails and hero of The One and Only, is trying to interject some logic into the situation. Sadly, when hearts are involved, logic doesn’t always save the day.

On Sunday, you couldn’t sand blast the smile off my face. The biggest reason being my husband didn’t leave on a month long business trip. There were no tearful goodbyes or driving home from the airport with a hole in my chest where my heart belongs. 

Today, I woke beside my love. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping and all is right with the world. Now to get to work on Brett and Alexa…