No time to smell the roses,

but we did find an hour or two to experience the thorns. When we were first married, we enjoyed a bit of kink. He always enjoyed tying me up, blindfolds, gags-that sort of thing, but it took a while before we realized the key to our fun was domination. And longer still before we started experimenting with pain.

Back in high school we were chatting, I don’t remember about what, but I uttered the phrase, ‘pain hurts’. Such a blonde comment, I know. I come by it naturally though. Tee he he. It was such a silly comment, he has teased me about it ever since.

As our D/s evolved, that one comment has come back to bite me in the butt many times. He likes to make me ask him for more. He’ll leave me hanging on the edge of an explosive orgasm-one or two pussy swats away. The pain exquisite and so needed in that moment, yet he stops and makes me ask him to strike me. It’s still hard to wrap my brain around why I like it-need it even. Asking is humiliating. It goes against all logic, yet it’s erotic as hell.rose-thorns

Weekend well spent

We’ve spent the last couple of weeks preparing for the Kink Karnival. We’ve never been a vendor at an event like that. We were nervous and unsure of what to expect.In years past, when tensions ran high, we’d snap at each other. History did not repeat itself. We pulled together and were a team. By the time our helper arrived, we had the booth together. She was able to help set up the Square and perfect the noose display.

The event organizers and fellow vendors were very courteous and kind. By and large it was more tame than I expected, but it was an indoor/outdoor event. It’s hard to be scantily clad when you’re freezing. The poor girl across from us was wrapped in a blanket most the day.

Overall, we had a blast. It was funny though, considering the venue-at first a lot of people weren’t sure what the nooses were for. They were trying to figure out how to wear them as earrings. After a few confused customers, we moved the adorned mannequins closer to the front. That helped.

Everyone was so nice. I’m not a public person, but I will admit I enjoyed visiting with everyone.  My heart went out to several of the men walking around in f*ck me heels. The club is over 10k square feet and the parking lot was used as well. By the gingerly way they were walking, Id say their feet were killing them. Hats off to those guys for enduring it though. I’ve been there a time or two and it isn’t easy.

It was a mixed audience age wise. A lot of the vendors were ‘seasoned’ as I like to put it, but the customers ran the gamut from 21 to ? Photo ID and a signed release were required by all.

Our helper and I went on a dungeon tour, while my Love ran the booth. I don’t think she noticed the needle play demonstration. She didn’t ask anything about the wet room either. I have no idea how she processed those kinks or if she was distracted and simply wasn’t aware. She has always been willing to ask questions when she had them.

I think she walked away with a different impression of the lifestyle. More than anything else, I think she was able to see the people more than the costumes or accessories. She’d been to parades and walks, but this event was a little different. She was able to interact with the customers. Many people stopped and chatted a while. If the conversation went beyond “cash or card” or “do you have…” she mainly listened. As the day progressed, the strain in her shoulders disappeared and her smile became genuine. She was definitely a huge help and I appreciate her spending her Saturday with us very much.

We were approached by several people who organize similar functions and we were invited to be vendors at those as well. I hadn’t anticipated that, but it’s welcome. A lot of people had never seen a noose before and they were intrigued. Sales were good. We had fun. What more can you ask for? I’d definitely do it again.

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Other Foot

I just got back from a week long adventure in the wilds of Montana. I was sent there for my day job. Normally, if I’m sent to an offsite location it’s within my home state and I’m sleeping in my own bed that night. Now my husband is sent all over the country a couple times a year. This is the first time the shoe was on the other foot.

My trip was with 35 strangers. We were a mix of males and females ranging in age from college students to grandparents. Half of us, me included, were completely out of our comfort zone. I’m good in the woods or the desert, but I’m not good surrounded with strangers. It’s exhausting to be with strangers that I have to interact with for 14 or 15 hours a day without a break. I had no down time. No time to recharge my batteries.

In addition to my husband being my source of unconditional love and security, he’s also a buffer between me and people. I’m not a gregarious sort. I live in my head. I create mini worlds and I control how they interact. I control the plot, the dialogue and the ending. The real world is all together different. And generally – I’m not a fan.

To me, ‘the public’ is an energy vampire. Being in close confines with others just sucks the life out of me. I was prepared for inclement weather, the back country, long hours and rough conditions. I was not prepared for the toll of being around strangers for a week solid with sleep being my only away time. I came home utterly fried emotionally and physically.

My Love, on the other hand, experienced what it’s like to go about your normal routine with the other half of your soul missing. He’d come home and heat up a meal I’d prepared ahead of time, but he’d eat it alone. He had no one to share his day with. No one to share the chores. Yet, everywhere he looked he was reminded of me and something we created together. He said, if something ever happened to me the house would be on the market in a heartbeat. The memories would eat him alive.

At the end of the week, we both decided we’re no good alone. We’re halves of one whole. I think that’s the way it’s meant to be. We’ve spent everyday of 38 years together except for the occasional solo work trip. Our lives are completely intertwined and that’s the way we like it.

Montana

Birthday approaching

My birthday is fast approaching and my Love has asked me what I’d like as a gift. Frankly, I have no idea. He’s generous to a fault. If I ask for something, he moves heaven and earth to give it to me. I’ve learned over the years to be careful what I express an interest for.

When I struggled to give him a suggestion, he changed his question, “What would you like to do for your birthday?” Again, I have no idea. Of course, we’ll spend the day with the kids, but how? Last year, we played laser tag, shopped and ate lunch at our favorite restaurant. Unfortunately,  I had a serious reaction to the food and spent the rest of the day quite ill.

I don’t want to risk going through that again. During the past year, I had an injury to my arm and laser tag is out. Shopping was quite fun, though. The kids were silly  and we picked out the worst outfits we could find and had each other try them on. Oh, how we laughed. We had such fun, I hate to try and recreate it knowing it would surely fall flat against the memory.

Which leaves me back at square one.

At least I know how the evening will end – kinky fuckery at its finest. My Love will no doubt think of something delightfully torturous and I’m really looking forward to every minute of it.

Home sick today

But I’m putting the time to good use. I’ve written a couple thousands words in my new story for the Master’s Touch series. Here’s a small excerpt.

“I want to strip you bare then spank and crop your ass. I’ll flog your back and shoulders until they’re striped a rosy pink. Then fuck you. Right out here in the open where everyone can see your glistening wetness drip from my cock as I pound in and out of you.”

Pretty bold statement considering he just met Nikki less than an hour ago. Tyler is shaping up to be a very interesting character. I can’t wait to see where he takes this story!

Celebrity Hallpass

aka – hey, babe, you’re good enough for everyday use, but if I have the opportunity to experience that – I’m outta here.

Is that the message I want to send to my spouse? Absolutely not. I love and adore him. I would never want to undermine his self-confidence in that way.

I had this discussion the other day with my brother. He told me to ‘lighten up, Francis’ it’s a joke.

Well, no it’s not. Was his intention to subconsciously tell his wife she’s a place holder until something better comes along? No. He loves his wife very much. I don’t think he would do anything that he thought would hurt her.

This is the same brother that goes to strip clubs fairly often with ‘the boys’. Another topic we argue about. He tells me I need to grow up. Bawhahahahaha. If only he knew! I tell him he’s showing his wife that she doesn’t do it for him anymore and that if he wants to see something hot he has to go pay for it.

He laughs and tells me, ‘I’m a prude’. Silly boy. When My Love and I are at ‘our’ club we see so much more than what’s allowed to take place in a strip club. The difference is My Love and I don’t go there alone to view the opposite sex. We go there together to have a sexual experience using equipment that we can’t disguise as something else.

We go there for fellowship – although he could argue the same thing. He is there with ‘his boys’ catching up and shooting the shit. How they can do that considering the music volume is another question I’ll never have answered.

He sees a hallpass or his strip club visits as harmless. I see them as detrimental. His wife has had a tummy tuck, liposuction and a boob job. Are the two related? I think so. My brother would surely argue they aren’t. I’m not walking in their shoes. I’m only an outsider looking in, but the two seem connected from my view.

Thoughts?

Escapism is my friend

I’m still feeling the loss of my pup. I tear up all the time. I can still see him sitting his rump on my couch – because he knew his feet weren’t allowed up there and I still find myself bending down to give him a treat or saying, “mommy loves her boys – be good,” as I head off to work. But there is only one boy now.

I knew I needed to lose myself in a new story, but I had to finish His to Own. I wanted the three stories previously published in the Master’s Touch series to be back on the market, before I started writing the fourth. It took a long time to reverse the changes the publisher had made, but I finally uploaded it to Amazon this afternoon. It is probably my favorite of that series so far and I enjoyed going back through it, but there’s nothing like creating a new story.

The characters will share their story in bits and pieces. I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and finally understand why this person did this or said that. It’s so cool when all the pieces finally fit together. It can’t fill the void of losing my pup, but it can help me escape for a while.

In the couple of hours I’ve been working on it, I’m at a little over two thousand words. I have a long journey ahead, with twists and turns and I’m sure the characters will throw me a curve of their own before it’s completed, but it feels good to be excited about something.

If you haven’t visited the world of Master’s Touch, you can find it here. The third book, His to Own, should be available shortly.

HisToOwn_BookCover_V1

Busy Busy

You might have notices some changes with my website. Since the issue with my previous publisher is now completed, I decided to revamp the look and feel of things. I feel as if I’ve shed a heavy coat and walked into the sunshine. Hope you like it!

I spent yesterday with a houseful of people and being the introvert that I am, after a few hours of that, I needed to escape for a while. I pulled out my jewelry makings and got busy.  I figure making nipple nooses isn’t any different than whipping out your phone and scrolling through half a dozen messages, Facebook and so forth.

I was still able to chat and take part in the fun, but I was productive as well. 20180702_084826

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