What do you do when the world gets to be too much?
Stress has been a living breathing entity in our family for a couple of months. Both my kids have recently switched jobs. Since they’re both adults it shouldn’t effect us right? Not true. I think parenting becomes harder as the kids age. The problems and the stakes involved only escalate as the breadth of parental control lessens. To add to the tension, I had been interviewing also. In the end, I was stymied by an unexpected hiring freeze.
Last weekend I had hopes that the worst of the storm had passed. Both kiddos had settled nicely into their new positions, My Love and I had set aside a few hours of quiet intimate time and the world was a happy place.
Sunday morning rolled around and I went in search of a glass of water and my phone. The little blue light was blinking. It is every morning so I hadn’t been prepared. I figured it was Groupon, Figi’s, Venus and a host of other retailers telling me about their great offers that I couldn’t possibly miss. Nope, it was the news that my sister’s cancer had spread. Doctors say she has a month – maybe. Three weeks ago, she had been responding nicely and while a cure wasn’t possible, they felt the progression had slowed and she had a couple of years. They were upbeat because breakthroughs were happening all the time. Now, those same smiling doctors are solemn and grim faced.
I’m angry. So angry. It’s my default emotion. It’s my coping mechanism. It’s my wall between me and pain. At some point the wall will fall, but My Love will be there to pick up the pieces once again. He’s my knight in war ravaged armor. Thankfully, he’s proven he’s better than the King’s men Humpty had counted on.
What do you do when you realize the light shining brightly isn’t the end of the tunnel, it’s a fast moving train headed straight for you?