It’s interesting how giving control to another is empowering and yet having no control is one of the most frightening and frustrating things in the world.

As a submissive, I am in my element when I give control to my Love and follow his lead. I trust and respect him. I know he will make choices that benefit the both of us.

Standing on the sidelines, watching the daughter, of my friend that recently passed away, make decisions that are not forward thinking and do not take the future into account, is really difficult. I’ve tried to advise, but I have no control.

Standing on the sidelines watching my brother’s cancer steal his strength as he slowly loses the battle with Leukemia, is really scary. As if the battle wasn’t stacked against him, due to his kidney failure he has to fight with one hand tied behind his back. The drugs that could serve him best with one aliment would kill him because of the other. I want to do something. I want to help, but I have no control.

Standing on the sidelines watching the doctors throw their hands in the air and refuse to even fight my sister’s cancer is beyond frustrating. Their only goal is to ‘make her comfortable’. Eff that! Can’t you even try to fight? Apparently not. Once again, I’m faced with the fact that I have no control.

In these three situations, I feel no empowerment. There’s no exchange. There’s only take.

When I give my Love my submission, I exchange my sense of control for a role of servitude. I serve him with complete confidence that my needs/wants/wishes are of foremost importance to him. It’s comforting to let it all go and focus on him.

I suppose to someone with no knowledge of D/s, someone who looks at both in a black and white fashion, just a mere glance at the facts – both situations look virtually the same, both are a loss of control, but I can assure you there is a world of difference. Giving him control takes me to a warm, sunny beach. Having no control is like standing nude on a frozen lake and being buffeted by icy winds. There’s no comparison.


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