Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar

My husband and I have been married thirty years. You’d think at this point we’d know everything the other is thinking and sometimes it’s true. I’d say, in many ways, he knows me better than I know myself. He knows my ‘tells’. He can read my mood, my fears and he understands those introspective moments that can send my attitude into the basement.

But sometimes it takes a long heartfelt conversation to get us on the same page. Yesterday was such a day. We have been discussing a major purchase we plan to make in late 2015. It’s something he has wanted for a long time, but doesn’t need in the least. When it comes to spending money on himself, sometimes, he needs some encouraging and I’m happy to provide it.

Last weekend, I suggested he take the plunge. This ‘want’ isn’t going away. It’s obviously something he truly desires. What subbie doesn’t want to see that boyish smile of glee on their Master’s face?

Being the responsible man that he is, he wants to get his ducks in a row before he lays out that kind of money. I respect that. This is far from an impulsive purchase.

In my mind, the decision was made, the plan was created and set into motion. It was a done deal, so to speak. I learned yesterday that that was not the case. Apparently, I had made a few comments during this past week that had him confused. He thought I was having second thoughts. He’d strung a series of idle conversations together to get the wrong impression. I’m so pleased he approached me with his concerns rather than letting them grow and fester. I was able to easily put his fear to rest. Once again, we are on the same page and moving forward.

What surprises me the most is that he thought my opinion would change, that I would want him to compromise and purchase something more in line with my passions. I fully admit, in years past I may have pulled such a stunt, but not today. I receive my greatest joy in seeing him happy. I’m determined he will buy exactly what he wants.

It does sadden me though, that the shadows of times past can still color today, but we’ve made great progress and my focus will stay on the positive. He came to me and we cleared the air, no muss, no fuss. Although I see him as an all knowing leader, confident in his choices, without having those open lines of communication we would never be able to stay the cohesive team that we are today. We need to share our concerns with the same openness that we share our wishes and desires. Each day we learn a little more, our journey takes us a little deeper, and the ride grows a little more intense.

Saddle up! The experience continues.

5 thoughts on “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar

  1. I’m a bit further down the trail and promise you the skies get clearer all the time and the horizon is truly endless. But those pesky “road signs from the past” still appear from time to time on the roadside. We read them know for what they are – “tourist traps” – and keep going.

    Looking forward to the continued journey of all my friends.


  2. SB flies His own small plane. Part of me hates it. Hates it. But the part I try to keep my focus on is how much He loves it. Loves it. The pride in His attaining His pilots license, the pride of flying His own plane. That joy in seeing Him happy overshadows any of my fears. You are SO supportive, it’s a treasure.

    1. Thanks, Kayla. Life is a little crazy right now, so it’s not surprising ghosts from days gone by and trying to make an appearance. I’m so glad this one was easy to resolve.

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